THE ME INSIDE OF ME





Everyday's the same old day,

nothing ever seems to change ...

from early in my morning,

to the darkness of my night,

my life is more my plight

than it is a right .....


TO LIVE ... I WANT TO LIVE!


I long to fly,

just like Peter,

to Never Neverland ...

to dance to the music

of a Brigadoon band ...

I want to stroll

through the clouds,

as I do in my dreams ...

to look into a mirror

and not want to scream ...

at the me

outside of me ...

at the me

that just isn't me.


Oh ... why

can't I see

the me .....


the me inside of me?




At school the teachers hate me,

and at home it's much the same ...

from early in my morning,

to the darkness of my night,

my life is more my plight

than it is a right .....


TO LIVE ... I WANT TO LIVE!
And I want to see,

in the mirror,

like a ballerina O I get-up every morning,

go to bed every night ...

and everything between is

my plight ... my fight!


Let's see .....

I start off every morning

by brushing my teeth,

staring in the mirror

at the same familiar face ...

I see the same old me,

staring back at me.

But it rally isn't me at all!


I'm tired of all these mirrors, it seems they're everywhere, I even hate the mirrors in eyes that just don't care ... they just don't dare. why can't I ever see the me inside of me. Oh, why, why can't I ever see the me the other children see, the me inside of me ... why, why must I always see the me the grown-ups see ... the me outside of me? When I am out at play its such a gloomy day, cause I don't want to play the games I'm forced to play, but when I'm left alone, or one on one alone, I feel so better,
so much more alive, happy and alive ... I like the me, the me inside of me, Then comes the storm, in grown-up form ... telling me to conform to something called the norm ..... so said Sister Pen, when I was all of ten. YOU'RE NOT NORMAL, YOU'RE A FREAK, YOU'RE AN EVIL DISCUSTING CREEP! So here I sit all alone and crying, cause I don't fit the mold of their implying ..... YES I CAN SEE THEIR MIRROR IMAGED ME, but that's not the me, the me inside of me. I love to sing in the sunshine, I love to dance in the rain, I hate bitters and sours, but I love fesh sugar cane ... I love holidays candies, I love magical tricks, I hate football and baseball, but I love playin' pick-up sticks ... I love hellos, and drawn-out goodbyes, and though I hate your mirrors, I love those soulful eyes ... why can't grown-ups see that children need to be what they were meant to be not just what grown-ups see. Why can't they see what everybody else sees, when they see me

they see the me without me ...

what I must see

does nothing but confuse me,

oh tell me why

why can't they see

the me inside of me?



I can't play with this,

I can't play like that ...

I must play like this,

I must play with that ...

I can't play with them,

I must play with them ...


I must be alone,

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!



Why can't I be

the me inside me,

why must I be

the me without me,

I'd rather die

than live this whole lie .....


I'd rather die,

I'D RATHER DIE!




So here I sit

all alone and crying,

cause I don't fit

the mold of their implying,

yes I can see

the me the grown-ups see ...


in their mirror

that never shows the me,

the me inside of me.






ORIGINAL TITLE OF THIS WAS

A Slow & Inhumane Torturous Death


Why can't I see what everybody else sees, when they see me they see the me inside me ... but all I see does nothing but confuse me, oh tell me why why can't I see the me inside me? When I am out at play its such a gloomy day, cause I don't want to play the games I'm forced to play, but when I'm left alone, or one on one alone, I feel so much alive, happy to be alive ... then comes the storm, in grown-up form ... they say I must conform to the norm. So here I sit all alone and crying, cause I don't fit the mold of their emplying, I damned well see the me that they see ... in the mirror, a two-faced lieing mirror ... that never shows the me, the me inside of me. I love sunshine, I love rain, I hate sours, I love sugar cane ... I love little treats, I love tricks, I hate baseball, I love pick-up sticks ... I love warm hellos, I love no goodbyes, I hate mirrors, I love soulful eyes ... I love being free, I love feeling free ..... to just be me. Why can't they see what everybody else sees, when they see me they see the me without me ... what I must see does nothing but confuse me, oh tell me why why can't they see the me inside of me? I can't play with this, I can't play like that ... I must play like this, I must play with that ... I can't play with them, I must play with them ... I must be alone, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE! Why can't I be the me inside me, why must I be the me without me, I'd rather die that live this whole lie ..... I'D RATHER DIE. So here I sit all alone and crying, cause I don't fit the mold of their emplying, yes I can see the me that they see but only in a mirror that never shows the me, the me inside of me.













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ON

June 23rd, 2006





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Copyright 2006 By LadyShalene